I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So squirting runs in the family.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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