There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
