is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Non-Jews are for practice
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
