i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
