Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
im holly from the hills drunk
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
