My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
