just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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