he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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