just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Is Oprah even human
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
