if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
