i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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