Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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