I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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