We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
ttyl tear gas
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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