Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
