loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
