I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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