I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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