Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize
