i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
