He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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