I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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