we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
it's like heaven, but drunker
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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