you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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