a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize