also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
