The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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