I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
