and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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