I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I don't deserve a penis
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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