How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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