All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
