So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
