I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
