So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
