He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The Olympian is in my bed
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
