Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
