oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
