thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
