theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize