i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
