I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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