We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
you will always have a special place in my vag
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize