Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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