she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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