Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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