She's JV to your varsity
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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