i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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