Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
and she was petting her beer can
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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