I think im going to throw up on grandma
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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