I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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