i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
A bitchslap is in order.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
