Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
