C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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