im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
