Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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