you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize