awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
