I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
